Episode 31: A Brain Tumor Couldn't Stop Her with Leigha Maher

Small Batch Sound: Hey everyone and welcome back to Confessions of a Slow Cooker. I'm Ashlyne Blue and today I'm excited to talk to someone I haven't spoken to in years. I grew up dancing at a small dance studio in Nashville, Tennessee, called Kathy's Dance Studio. I miss it. it had competitive teams. And I met our guest when she was one of one of the people in the younger teams, because she's like 10 years younger than me. I had to ask her because I was like, I don't even know. ⁓ I just knew she was really good and really cute. I got to watch her grow up into this beautiful, strong dancer. Leah McGee, who is now Leah Mayer, ended up going on to another dance studio called Legacy for her last few years because ours closed and she did wonderfully there. I watched her the whole time, not in a stocky way, but I did. And and then and then she went on to make the very hard to make. Dance team at University of Tennessee Knoxville, which is super impressive, but not surprising in the slightest. Thank you. You're welcome. ⁓ now I don't want to step on your story, Leah. ⁓ so I'll stop there. But I do know just from doing my research that in grad school something happened that totally changed your life and influenced how and when you would be able to maybe start a family. Potentially. You didn't know at the time. So I will shut up and let you tell it all. Thank you so much for being here. Of course, yeah. ⁓ you too. ⁓ so I in graduate school found out that I had a brain tumor called a craniopharyngioma. ⁓ and it's a brain tumor on your pituitary gland. ⁓ and so when they removed it, I lost all of my hormone function. and so that road was a little bit tricky. And I didn't I should have known, but I didn't know right off the bat that fertility would be an issue. ⁓ until it was time for us if you'd said that. I I I it didn't like there are so many things by the way that I have learned through my own stuff, through listening to other people, how much fertility is like it's not just down here in the organs, you know, it's everywhere. So continue, sorry. So I really didn't put two and two together. I was just happy I was alive, to be honest. Yeah. ⁓ and then several years later when we were ready to to try for a child, ⁓ when we asked our my endocrinologist that manages all of my hormones. She said, You're gonna have to go through fertility. ⁓ and so that's when I found out that I would need to go through fertility. ⁓ and it's all due to that brain tumor. I was a little nervous. I was worried. ⁓ because my husband and I have been together since the since middle school, since the eighth grade. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ and so we've been dreaming of that for for years. And it was like, what if it doesn't happen? ⁓ and so that was a little bit scary. It was another process that I was gonna to go through. ⁓ you know, the hospital say was one thing, recovering was one thing, figuring out medicines was one thing, and now this is another thing to go through to discuss or to figure out. So yeah, and and I the I mean, we grew up in the South, you're still there. and you just don't hear about that kind of stuff. You don't really and even though it even if it is going through Going on. Like I know my mom had a miscarriage, but it wasn't something we talked about. Not because she was a it just it just didn't come up, you know. And so you might hear something anecdotally somewhere along the way, but most people just not just in the South. I don't wanna be pejorative, but it's just not something people speak about a lot, which is kind of why this podcast exists. Because after I went through what I went through, you know, divorce at 30, starting over n nothing like a brain tumor, mind you. So I'm not comparing this. ⁓ but I didn't know what was to come. I didn't know if I'd find someone. I didn't know, you know, and when I finally did, I was like, yay, but then ⁓ fertility stuff, I don't know if maybe I was like like nervousy about everything because my whole life had blown up in one way and I was like, well if it happened once, it can happen again. And so I was a little bit more I had a little bit more trepidation, but I also wasn't in a relationship like you were with Aaron for like almost like the bulk of your life. So I didn't have that stability there. And I was so I feel like I was on a little shaky ground. So I was kind of prepared for it to be hard. I wasn't prepared for IVF though. And once I got to that point, it was like, I mean, okay, but like what else? What else are we gonna have trouble with here? And ⁓ yeah, after you go through one big hurdle, it's just it it's it's kind of defeating to go through the next ones. But Fertility is one thing if you're healthy by all accounts. It doesn't seem like it would be something that would be impacted. Because yeah, I mean, I've learned a lot about this now. So it does it does make sense to me that all these things are affected. But if you had asked me ten years ago, I would have been like, no, I'll be pregnant tomorrow. It'll be great. You know? Yeah. So what did you have to do for hip fertility, if you don't mind me asking? Yeah. So basically from the brain tumor being removed, they said I was basically like a menopausal woman. ⁓ I was like twenty four years old. So it wasn't supposed to happen then. ⁓ but basically I just didn't have the hormones that I needed. ⁓ so it was really just me and the factor of infertility. ⁓ and so we went in thinking we would do IUI. Okay. ⁓ interuter and incep and insemination. Insemination I was like, what is that work? No, it's all right. It's I d I was so glad you said the brain tumor name because I that was the one I was gonna completely botch. So you did the harder one. Yes. so we went in thinking we were gonna do that. and so we started with like fertility injections right away. ⁓ and that was to grow my follicles to make them mature enough to ⁓ to do all of what it does. and Basically what we the what they did the doctors didn't know and what what we didn't know was that I needed medicine up front before we even started those fertility medicines. Okay. To increase my hormones, my estrogen, my progesterone, all those things that I didn't have. ⁓ so I actually had a mis one miscarriage. ⁓ after we started those fertility injections. We did we did the injections, we did ⁓ a trigger shot and all that kind of stuff. We got pregnant and then I miscarried. ⁓ so we went back to the to the table and I actually changed doctors. ⁓ so I I had one doctor in Franklin that was a man and I just didn't feel like he was totally listening to my story. I feel like I have a little bit more complex ⁓ situation than just a a normal person ⁓ that was. Yes, yeah. and he just was like by the book, here you go, here's your medicine. And that's why it didn't work. and so we actually one of the times we were supposed to go to Franklin, they said the office was ⁓ like they didn't have an opening. Could you go to Murfreesboro? And I said, sure. So we went to Murphy'sboro. That's quite a a hike. It's actually we live in Spring Hill, so it's just down eight forty. So it's it's not horrible. ⁓ so when we got out there, we met ⁓ Kelly Whittaker is her name with National Fertility, and she sat down in the room before she said anything and she was like, So I've studied your your brain tumor and I was like, Yes, exactly what I needed. Yeah. So she really studied who I was, my story, my history. And ⁓ I just felt like she really truly cared about my my story. And ⁓ so what she did what tur determined was that I needed estrogen and progesterone for two months before starting the injections just to raise that level. ⁓ and so that that was what helped as I started those and then I did the fertility medicine. Then we triggered, we did a ⁓ trigger ovulation and then we were able to get pregnant naturally. ⁓ we just needed all of those hormones up front. Yeah, and the and I I think I've said it on here a bunch of times anecdotally. I've used that word twice here already today. What is radio? ⁓ but ⁓ progesterone We are pretty sure, my husband and are pretty sure that is what led to our first ⁓ embryo transfer not working. Because the second time we did our embryo ⁓ our second embryo, which is my son, our last embryo, is ⁓ we accidentally found out that by by an ⁓ an error in the lab. The lab ran multiple tests instead of just the estrogen. ⁓ just to see if that was okay. And in that process, that's when We realized because they accidentally ran like the whole panel, they were like, Well, your estrogen's good, so that's good. But you're in the meantime, since you got back home from your transfer, now you have no more progesterone. It's plummeted. And I was like, ⁓ so they put me on that. And so I mean, I think that was the difference between it's probably what my body did in the first place when we were trying naturally and, you know. Yeah. And what we determined was For me, after I got pregnant, we had to continue the estrogen and progesterone to keep those levels rising until I was through my first trimester and then we stopped. And then my baby was able to carry on. They were they do that, or at least my fertility clinic in Denver did d had that as our their regular protocol for IBF in general. But I'm glad that they did that for yours and didn't think, All right, the baby's stuck, so to speak. So You should be good. That's what happened with your time too, is that we got pregnant and we didn't have any of those hormones to continue that. And so we lost the first one. And so she just really listened to my story and I felt like she cared and it it worked with with her. And so we went back when we had our our second two, which is a whole nother story. Yeah. Okay. So Noah is how old now? He will be three in like three weeks. ⁓ my gosh. Yes. I remember I okay. This is like a just a personal story. I remember 'cause Archer is not even two and a half yet. So I was a little behind you in getting pregnant ever for the first time. And I remember watching your story being like, Okay, all right. Like she can do this, I can do this, maybe, I don't know. But not can she like handle this, but like am I gonna am I gonna have I d I watched your stuff before I was able to get to that point. And ⁓ it was ⁓ yeah, it was September, right? Was he born in September? September eight. Mm-hmm. ⁓ my gosh. I don't know why that popped into my head. But ⁓ yeah, when you're in like the throes of things, just watching other people be successful in any way, shape, or form with adversity in their you know, corner. For me, I was getting older. I didn't have all you know, I was just like, and this is our last embryo, please let this work. And ⁓ Yeah, I remember when yours when you finally had Noah and that was such a wonderful and and you know, I w what I will say is also you were you're very, very honest about your journey with ⁓ and open and transparent about what you went through with your brain tumor, the recovery of it. You kept you keep and kept everyone ⁓ you know, abreast of what was going on like in that and I thought it was That's not everyone's style. And so I'm not trying to criticize or put down anyone who's like I I I'm not that person. But you did it with such class and grace. It wasn't like look what I went through. It was like it was Liliah I know, which is like someone who just does her thing and is willing to be honest about it. And then I saw your post about the brain tumor stuff and I was like, I'm so glad you mentioned it 'cause that could maybe help somebody else be ⁓ you know, in ⁓ and tell us about that actually before I like spoil it. What were you know, because I you're not the first person I know from Brentwood who had a brain tumor in their twenties. and come to think of it, she had some fertility stuff after too. But ⁓ I digress. Anyway, the ⁓ let's talk about that for a minute, not just the fertility stuff, because obvious I mean, you have twins, twin boys, and then you have Noah. ⁓ what Maverick and Stone, am I right? Yes. Yep. So cute. They're so like six six ish months now. Six months. Mm-hmm. By the way, we weren't gonna do this a couple weeks ago. Can I tell them what happened? Yes. It was so funny and cute. And like, yeah. So they're about six they weren't even six months at this point. And we were gonna tape this and we figured out like in between naps or whatever. And then ⁓ I got to the studio and I was like, ⁓ no, something either either something like actually happened or ⁓ no she fell asleep when her kids fell asleep. You were she was sick. Yeah, but either way, you didn't have to be sick to do it to forget or just to fall asleep and not wake back up because ⁓ you have twin boys that are like they were less than half a year old. So I just thought that was the cute I told your sister when we were taping, I was like, well it was gonna talk to Leah. But ⁓ she goes, ⁓ that's Yeah, that sounds about right. Yep. It does. Yeah. Hey, I all the grace in the world. If you can't get a pass on our fertility podcast, where can you get one? ⁓ All right. So what you so you you were very small growing up. And I remember 'cause and your sister is two and you know like it's not like you you it looked weird to anybody, but you were always a little bit smaller than the rest, even when everyone grew up grew up. into their bodies a little bit more. When did you start feeling like something's off? Yeah. So in high school I was very petite. ⁓ and my family was petite. So we didn't think really anything of it. Right. ⁓ but I was getting older into high school and I was not having a period. And so we thought that was weird because my sister, my mom, that was all normal for them. And then I was being petite. Yeah. Yeah. And so we went to doctors to try to talk about that. and they just said it was meat to due to being petite. ⁓ and I was like, well, that really doesn't make sense to me because my sister's petite and you know, it happened regularly for her. and so basically they just said it you're petite. And then as I continued to get older, they put me on birth control to try to get me a period. ⁓ which it didn't work still, but I stayed on it, you know, through college. ⁓ so I I I had headaches, but they were not frequent. ⁓ they ⁓ they weren't like debilitating. It was Pops and Advil keep going about my my day, whatever I needed to do. Did you say you have a high pain tolerance in general? I I would say I don't Okay. ⁓ anytime I get sick or anything, my husband's like, You're such your baby but I'm like Actually I went through a brain tumor. I think I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I'm all right. No. I was just wondering like you know, like some people with the headache, like what what may be hard like what may be debilitating for somebody might be like I'm used to dealing with like being in d ⁓ being on the dance floor, you're constantly smacking things around and so I don't I was just curious if also being a dancer, I was very in tune with my body. ⁓ and ⁓ That kind of as I get older, I I basically knew something was wrong. But ⁓ listening more, yeah. Yeah. ⁓ just the headaches really in high school. And then as I got into college, I started just having worse headaches. And I was on the dance team, but like yeah, while I was in practice, if I was turning or something, I would get really dizzy and I was like, This is just weird. And so I know how to spot. Yeah. and so I w You took my classes. You took my my turns and leaps classes. I know you know how to spot a turn. So Yeah. so I went to we had access to trainers at University of Tennessee. And so I went there and they said it was all due to tension in my neck. so they treated me for tension. They did like cupping massages on my neck, all these different types of things. ⁓ and that's what I got for four years was just the the physical therapy aspect of it. Which could could totally benefit you in other ways, but there was something underlying obviously. But all through college, all through high school, all through college, I never hit a hundred pounds. I was always below a hundred. So like ninety-five ish was what I sat at, really. ⁓ and so when I left college and got into graduate school, I started sleeping a lot, just Like anytime I had the chance, I was asleep. ⁓ headaches got more frequent. I was taking Advil like around the clock all the time. and then I had vision changes. ⁓ while I was at school, I like couldn't see the board. And I was like, well, that's weird. I've never had a vision problem. ⁓ and then I started to lose weight and I was like, I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm eating Taco Bell on the way to grad school every night. Like I shouldn't be losing weight while I eat fast food every night. Yeah. and so I was like, this just all is odd to me. ⁓ and so basically when my headaches just got so frequent, I basically demanded that the doctors do something. Yeah. because they just kept telling me I was fine. And they never would do an MRI. They just kept checking my blood and were saying my levels were normal. You sh like you you are fine. You're healthy. ⁓ and so I basically was like, something is wrong with me and I I need you to figure it out. For someone to be saying, sorry to interrupt, for someone to be saying, My vision is blurry when it wasn't and I'm it's not like a I didn't put my glasses on. I have to pop advo like it's candy or Skittles. I have to I sleep all the time. I'm losing weight when I'm not on the dance team anymore. Or like I'm not doing you know, like there's and also you shouldn't be losing weight necessarily anyway because you're maintaining. and and I'm asking you for more. The last thing you want to hear is your levels are fine. So you're fine. Like, no dude, I'm in pain. I I can't see, like that means I'm not healthy. Something el you check somewhere else. Yes. ⁓ so glad you updated. Yeah. Finally at some point they said we will do an MRI to rule it out, is what they told me. ⁓ they're for anyway, kind of. Like sorry, I'm not in medical school, but or I'm you know, I'm but like, aren't they anyway, I've heard of people like ⁓ actually Maddie, you know Maddie. ⁓ the other day her doctor was saying we should do an MRI or a cat s something to see if if it was MRI or CT scan to see if her ⁓ five year old had pneumonia and it was the first first symptoms he had and that's what they were asking for her. She was like, Can't we wait? You it was like the opposite response. Yes. Yeah. Look let's just see if this is going a little he's like otherwise a pretty healthy kid. Like he wasn't he didn't come in with a bunch of pre ⁓ existing stuff. Let's try some medicine or something first. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see if it moves or whatever. They're like, we should do this. So for years it's like, hey, I'm not I'm visually impaired. I'm losing weight and whatever. And they're like, you're fine. Cool. Yeah. So like I had gotten down I was ninety five ish in college. I mean I was down like in the in the higher eighties at this point. Holly. ⁓ like I was like really tiny. Like at one point my mom was like, Are you okay? Yeah. I was like, I don't I don't know I don't know why everybody's concerned. I eat all the time. People see me eat. Like, I'm not making myself sick. Like this just this is who I am. and so finally the doctor said that they would just try to rule it out. And I went to the ⁓ RI that day. I'm sure they were like I came I came home from that ⁓ R I. And I fell asleep, as I always was. My husband went to the gym while I was asleep and I woke up to a it was a phone call that they left a voicemail and the voicemail had gone to a voicemail to text. So I woke up and read the text. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I read it. It says that you have a mass and I was like Pause. Like what? So then I open the voicemail to play the voicemail. And it basically says that you have a mass. We don't know if it's benign or other. ⁓ it's about X centimeters something. ⁓ we urge you to go to the ER as soon as possible. ⁓ and so I from this moment on, I call my husband and tell him, but at this moment on my world goes black. I do not remember anything about the brain tumor process after. Sorry, I'm not laughing. Sorry. No. ⁓ after this moment, I don't remember anything. So ⁓ my husband comes home and I do remember him saying, like, like, we're in this together. We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna make this better. Like, we're gonna get through this. They're gonna fix it. ⁓ and so on the way to the hospital, we just kind of gave all of our fears to God and we just sang worship music. ⁓ it was almost like we had a piece. Like finally we have an answer to something we've been searching for since high school. ⁓ and so it it was kind of a piece. Like we we finally have an answer and let's go fix it. So well that's that's lovely. I mean con considering the circumstances. And that's I feel like that is kind of part of Like when you feel like something's wrong, ⁓ I couldn't figure out my breathing for a long time. ⁓ not necessarily a dance when we were younger, but like ⁓ I end up in the ER sitting still, like with a with an asthma attack that I couldn't like no ⁓ no puffs on my albuterol would fix, and other times it'd be fine. And then a year later it happened again. And it again it was in a different sit it was out always September, ironically, but it was in a different it was in Tennessee or or LA. But it was like I feel like a mystery. And feeling like a mystery in any way, shape, or form, especially when you use, you know, it's not like I don't know, it it it was my lungs. So I need I needed I needed to figure it out as part of my job to to use all these things and I felt like a case and I felt like A lot of times the doctors treated me first, being like, Okay, because I'd come in after like forty doctors at this point, being like, I know what it's not, I know what it is, or I mean, I don't know what it is, I don't know how to treat it, but I know all these things have already gone through it. And they're and I felt kind of dismissed because they would want to go their typical route first. And ⁓ and I'd be like, No, I don't need more predazone, I don't need more antibiotics, it doesn't do anything for me. It literally scratches the surface. ⁓ then I do a a sinus surgery that helps for like a minute. And then I have to do another one within two years because they d didn't realize I had a deviated septum. And so they are now doing this again and calling that doctor quack. And I'm like, What? Why did I go through all this for that? Like, why won't people take me seriously? And this is not a brain tumor, but like it was affecting my job ⁓ as a tr ⁓ you know, a touring musician. It was affecting how I felt ⁓ about The trajectory of my whole life. And I remember the opposite of what you're saying, like ⁓ having a piece, because I wasn't there yet where I realized what was going on. But I was like, God, is this not what you have for me? Because I can do the I can do the dancing, I can do the singing, I can do the writing. I thought like these things were like ⁓ you know, like it it seemed like where where I was meant to go. But the roadblocks are so often And it's like it I I ha I hate what I'm doing because I cannot literally and figuratively perform without feeling like there's something on the other side of this. And it brought me down. Eventually it I stopped because I could not figure out myself and I didn't think about this until you started talking about this. So whatever. Wasn't planning on talking about that any ⁓ today, but ⁓ but yeah, not being a mystery anymore ⁓ is so nice. It doesn't mean that you're done with the road and then you obviously had a lot more down the pike, but I love that I love and this is not something you could have arranged. So I'm not I'm not saying good good on you. I'm saying I'm so happy for you. But like you had Aaron the whole time. The whole time. He wasn't like learning about this and like being like, all right, so what's going on? You could just snap into gear. He has been with you this whole time, has seen your your body you know, from the beginning so can answer questions in your blackout state. Uh-huh. ⁓ and basically carry you in all senses of the word to go to the next step, explain it to your parents, you know, just be your advocate when you can't be for yourself. And and like you said, answers are so nice. And then being able just to spend that time on the way to the hospital in a place that makes you feel held. Mm-hmm. Whatever that is for you, for I know what it is for you, but not Not everyone listening. So ⁓ that's awesome. ⁓ so what was the how how long? I know you started it in twenty twenty, right? ⁓ twenty nineteen was when I had the surgery. The surgery. Okay, yes, okay, yes. It was on my actual our one year wedding anniversary. I remember this post. I do remember this post. Hi seem like a stalker. No, I'm just so proud of you. Well, I have shared it all, so I know, I know, I know. Yeah. But ⁓ Yeah, because you guys got married in thousand nineteen, right? Two thousand eighteen. Eighteen. November eighteen. Got it. Okay. And then on November eighteenth of twenty nineteen, I had the surgery. And they were just taking it out. That was it. Like that was the that was it. That was all. Yeah. So they actually which is mind blowing to me nowadays, but ⁓ they went through my nose to get into the tumor. ⁓ so now my nose is all jacked up. They actually want me to have sinus surgery. ⁓ well. I know who not to go to, I'll tell you that offline. I just really don't know that I want to go through it, but Yeah. Okay. It it I mean, it's nothing like a brain tumor surgery. Yeah. So I mean you got that going for you. But maybe wait until you don't have like teeny tines. Yes. Because there is a there you know, you can't really move for a couple of days. ⁓ So they went through your nose. Yes. So they went through my nose and pulled the tumor out. So it was The the tumor itself was blocking where fluid should drain in your brain. So my brain was just full of fluid and that's why I was having headaches. once they were removed it, they were hoping the fluid would all drain because it's now open to drain. Yeah. Yeah. however, it did not drain after they removed it. ⁓ and so they like tapped my head and were pulling fluid out. From up here. ⁓ and they they I guess they thought that was gonna be a solution and it it didn't end up helping. So they put a shunt in my head up here, you can still feel it. and the shunt is supposed it has a ⁓ tube that runs behind my ear, down my neck and into my belly to drain the fluid. so that was supposed to be the the fix. However, I got to do the third fix. This is number three. So after I get to my room, I don't know how many days it happened after or if it was soon after or whatnot. ⁓ my I went into a catatonic state, which I don't don't didn't even know what that was. Aaron told me. I my eyes were rolled back, my tongue was sticking out, and I'm like frozen in this posture. And screaming for people. nurses to come in and he said people that weren't even your nurses or doctors were coming in to look at you because it was just wild. ⁓ so they rushed me back into the ER or to the ⁓ OR and my shot had slipped. And I don't even know like what that looks like, why it happened, whatever. ⁓ my God. So they had to put it back into place. And at this point, so they shaved my head like Originally the the surgery did not have anything to do with my hair. So I had all my hair. Right. Then I had to get the the tap, so they shaved like a little tiny bit. Then they put the shut in, it was like a s like a a s little sliver. Yeah. ⁓ with a verse over here. Yeah. Yeah. A piece over here and then like a full head of hair on this side. Yeah. ⁓ so then when they went in when the shot slipped, they shaved like like half of it. almost the whole thing. It was like a little tiny bit right here, which I don't know why they left that. But ⁓ why why they left any of it, I'm not sure if you standing standing at the sink after we're after the surgery and after I was recovering and it's like a line straight down the back of my head with all of this full si a full head of hair on this side. ⁓ so yeah, they they shaved my head several times. ⁓ and then finally once they got that back into place, I It was done. I just had to recover at that point, which was a l a long a long journey. But what w how long so I mean I w I looked at it in real time, but now that we are s removed from it, I I can't We were at the the hospital for forty days. Okay and after Where'd you get this done? Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt, okay. Mm-hmm. ⁓ that's a hike from Spring Hill for Yes. We lived in Thompson Station at the time. So like right near eight forty. Yeah. ⁓ but still, yeah, a a hike. Forty forty days after we were in the hospital. Yeah. Forty days. And then I came out and I went to inpatient rehab at a different f facility in Franklin. and there I just had like speech therapy, ⁓ like occupational therapy, physical therapy, trying to like regain skills 'cause at this point I had been nonverbal for like since the surgery, I think. I didn't know. Maybe like maybe a at at some point after the surgery. I don't know if it was right after or several days after whatnot. I kinda went nonverbal. And I was not eating. ⁓ I don't know if you've ever seen a picture, but while I was I have, you looked skeletal. Mm-hmm. I look like like a Holocaust victim. ⁓ so that was what I looked like when I left. ⁓ and was at rehab. So I kind of just had to to relearn everything. ⁓ they're trying to get like my brain to connect to start talking and and remembering if I'm in the kitchen where where things are. And it wasn't my house, obviously. It was a a rehab facility, but ⁓ that was the kind of things I was doing. I was standing up to do a puzzle, like trying to regra regain strength. ⁓ so that was I was there for two weeks, I think, and it was over Christmas. ⁓ my whole family came and celebrated Christmas at the the facility. ⁓ so I I literally don't remember any of that either. Like I this is all through pictures that I remember. ⁓ but I do remember when I woke up. ⁓ I was we had gotten back home to our ⁓ it was between outpatient rehab or inpatient rehab and going to radiation. So I was kind of in a waiting period for insurance to approve radiation. ⁓ and while I was there, I was at home and I woke up in this I was in the bathtub actually. I was, you know, 60 pounds maybe. ⁓ no hair. They had shaved it at this point. and I just remember calling out for Aaron and I was like, Aaron And he comes running because I hadn't been talking. So he's like, whoa. and he comes in and I said, What happened to me? And he said, You don't know. And I said, No. He was like, Well, let's get out and we will we will try go through some pictures and and try to tell you this story. ⁓ so I had to, I I literally didn't remember anything. How? ⁓ So I I think that's all a god thing. I truly think the whole story is a god thing having a a husband that I met in the eighth grade to to live my whole life with and then have this experience for him to be by my side. ⁓ Yeah, it it was a journey. You were spared, it sounds like, the the ho horrif horrifying parts of it. You can look back and and look at photos and like see it and I don't know about piece it together because if you don't remember it, you don't remember it. But ⁓ yeah, I feel like you were spared like the trauma. There there are things that I remember. Like when he told me about the catatonic state, I was like, No, I remember that. Like in the hospital, I remember being like froat like I couldn't get out of what I was in. Wow. So I do re there's like little like physical memories that I do remember. but it just It didn't come too until somebody's telling me these things or I'm seeing pictures of these things. Yeah. Which is just odd to me. That I'm sure that is odd. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird feeling. Yeah. ⁓ I'm so glad that ⁓ I'm so glad that he also seem I've not met him. but he seems like such a gentle person, especially with you and I mean, he's he looks like he'd be the nicest dad ever. So that's sweet. ⁓ and I know that you're such a kind like your whole family when you said they came to s be with you during Christmas, like I remember seeing photos of that now that you said it. ⁓ I love your family. I love all of them. They are just I your mom, your sister and I were talking about ⁓ Gloria being just like she reminds me of my mom. Like just one of those people that you can count on. And so you have you know what it means. You have like to you know how to pick ⁓ Let's just say that. Yes. not that never mind, I don't go into my picking. not important. so after that, like you got into you ⁓ you said radiation, actually. Yeah. Radiation wise, what was that for since they took it out? I don't I'm not good at medical stuff. ⁓ so they removed so it was a childhood tumor. I haven't said that yet. ⁓ it was a childhood tumor that we did not find until I was an adult. So that is why I was so tiny my entire life because I had the brain tumor that we did not know about. ⁓ just kept growing and growing, I'm assuming, and getting more like an impediment. So typically children have it removed. ⁓ and then they have all these complications that I have now. as a child, which I just can't even fathom as a child. But ⁓ yeah. So they They like once I removed it, I ⁓ now have d several different things. So I I don't produce a natural steroid. Okay. ⁓ like a to fight off anything. So I have to take prednisone daily. If I get sick, I increase it to to try to fight off the infection or whatnot. ⁓ I have still on that prednisone? Yeah, daily. ⁓ golly. Mm-hmm. God love you. I am on levothyroxine for I was on that hypothyroidism. Yep. Yeah. ⁓ I have diabetes insipidus, which is ⁓ kind of ⁓ it's it's not technically of sodium, but think diabetes of sodium and not sugar. Right. ⁓ so if I drink too much water or if I ⁓ pee too often, like if my sodium level gets off, I could have a seizure. So I take a medicine for that. ⁓ and it keeps me from being like I don't have a ⁓ if I were to take my medicine, I wouldn't have a thirst quint. Like I would always be thirsty. It would never tell me that I'm that I'm it's good quenched. Yeah. Yeah. so I take medicine for that. And then ⁓ because I don't have growth hormones, they put me on growth hormone. ⁓ and then this I did not find out until much later in the process, but they diagnosed me with hypothalmic obesity. and so basically when I left the hospital as this skeleton, I was sixty ish pounds. I gained weight uncontrollably. ⁓ so I had never been a hundred pounds. I got up to like a hundred and eighty pounds. Whoa. I mean I remember seeing like your face is fuller and so but I I thought it was just prednisone or something like that. Yeah. ⁓ I think it's a little both but Basically with hypothalmic obesity, no matter diet or exercise, I I gain weight. There's just no controlling it. My hypothalamus was damaged during surgery, which caused this. so they ended up putting me on a GLP Yeah. They put me on a GLP one. ⁓ and this was before it was a fad. So they insurance covered it, ⁓ because of the brain tumor. And so I was just on it. That was that was my way of Of maintaining my regulating regulating everything. Yeah. Yeah. and you know, as it as it got more popular, they stopped covering it. And so now I have to pay for No, dude, I still have a I still have the brain tumor. Yeah. I s I have to pay for it out of pocket now. They will only they will only prescribe it if you have a true diabetes. I feel like this needs to be f ⁓ yeah. I we've we've tried and especially with different medications. they've done the prior or the ⁓ what do they call it, authorization. ⁓ is that what it's called? When they send in like the I have a prioritization for my ⁓ for my shots to say like I can even get them. Yeah. ⁓ which it may be insurance needs. But they're They basically say, yeah, like she has a brain tumor. She now has hypothetic obesity. She cannot lose weight on her own. Like she needs this medication. And several different, you know, like there's all the different brands and whatnot. They all we tried all of them and so now I buy a compounded one. ⁓ and I just take like a like a really low dose just to kind of maintain. Yeah. ⁓ but it is what it is. Does that mess with you? Like does it mess with you? Cause like if you if you're tiny your whole life, not that you were like trying to maintain that, but like if you had you have one vi one version of Leah in your head and all your pictures and everything that you have, and then all of a sudden you're like dealing with something that you can't control, was it your fault? Like is that how is that on your mental state? It ⁓ being little was my identity. My dad called me tiny dancer when I was at Tennessee. They the photographer made us books of ⁓ all of our pictures and stuff. Mine said Tennessee's tiny dancer. Like that was who I was. everybody called me little Leah. Like that's just that was my identity. And so when that changes, it's it's hard. ⁓ I you know, the the moment that they told me, so I went back when I started gaining weight and was like, What is wrong with me? And they were like, Okay, it happens to some people, but not all. So we kinda wait to see what happens. ⁓ but it is hypothalmic obesity. And when you hear the word obesity when you've been ninety five pounds your whole life, is like What? Yeah. You're saying that to me? Like not that it's bad to to to gain weight, but it's like That that big of a change is just a a a big change. the problem is is that I mean I went from a double zero, almost wearing children's clothes, to like at one point wearing like a size 12 jean. And it was just it's just moving up. So I got like, okay, let's get a size four, let's get a size six, let's get a size eight. I mean, it's like the whole Like buying new jeans, buying new clothes. Like I couldn't keep up with all of that. And it was just really hard. Yeah. I mean, it would be hard for anyone. I mean, it's it's hard enough 'cause you've been pregnant now twice and once with with double. And that's hard. That's hard. ⁓ y but at least you have like a reason. Yes. You know, like there's like I'm growing a baby, this is f not for me, this has nothing to do with me. You don't want to be too thin here, like like whatever. The the downward slope, I had a trouble. with it and and and this is like a microcosm of what you're talking about. I mean, I even had trouble postpartum until recently, being like, I don't look like myself, therefore I don't feel like myself. And so I don't think there's any in correct me if I'm wrong someone out there, but I don't think there's anything wrong. Like you can't compare your your ⁓ story with someone else thinking, well it's not a bad thing. Like no, it's just not who you were. And so it's it's a new it's a it's like you were saying earlier, it's another struggle. To have to deal with after all this. And I'm sure you're just like, when is this gonna be? When am I gonna feel like Leah? And maybe not 95 pounds, 65 pounds. We don't want to go back. Sixties, you skeletal Leah. But like, like you said, it was your identity. So if your identity is taken away in any shape or any way, shape, or form for any reason, like that will mess with you because who you physically see in the mirror doesn't compute and Like how many times you have to see yourself all the time. Or like even in this reflection, like going into the grocery store. For a while there, I was like, Seriously? That's what I look like. And it would completely tank my day. And I was like, I'm not that person who expects to look perfect all the time. That's that that's not me. So I would start to feel badly about that. And be like, What's wrong with you that you're thinking only about your appearance? And so it was like a kind of a little bit of a spiral. Yes. ⁓ you look great, by the way. Thank you. You actually you really do. I don't I I should have said that a long time ago, but you do you do look you look healthy to me. Thank you. Yes. That's what that's what my mom always says. Yeah. That was always healthy too. She's healthy. Yes. ⁓ No, I'm so glad. Yeah. And and different iterations of you are fine, you know, and and sometimes it takes longer, but this seems like This seems like i it was like, ⁓ all right, you're too small, too small, too small. And then you don't remember most of that stuff and then it's like, okay, new like all the way over to the other side. Too big, too big for you know. Yeah. And and they can't do anything about it necessarily. You know, like it's not something we can just like get get past. Yeah. And with hypothalmic obesity without medicine, like a GLP one that is stopping, preventing this. I just If I'm hungry, I don't crave like a salad. Like in my head it's like, I want a cheeseburger, I want fast food, I want candy. Like that is what you crave. ⁓ and it that is really hard. It's just a food noise constantly until until you get the medicine and then it just kind of calms it. ⁓ but that that was the hardest part was just like you never feel full. Like I would eat a a big meal. And then I'd like leave and be like, okay, what's next? ⁓ well yeah, that that was that was probably the hardest part of it was just figuring out weight and just like, why am I starving? I can't even I never feel full. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I'm wondering why they wouldn't have mentioned and maybe they were like they said they were away. They may have had to like air in or s somebody else, but just I personally like didn't know that. Until I had gained all the weight and was like, ⁓ what's going on? Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ So was this before the fertility part? Yes. So I I we skipped over radiation. I went to radiation. ⁓ they Insurance basically was like you can go to XYZ. One of them was in Memphis, one of them was in I think Georgia. there was one in Tennessee, but it was affiliated with Tennessee Oncology and it was brand new. so I didn't know I don't know if they didn't do brains or anything, but my mom works for Tennessee Oncology, so she was kind of hoping I'd get go there. Yeah. ⁓ it's in Franklin. ⁓ but they ended up one of the options was Cincinnati. And Aaron's whole extended family is from Cincinnati. ⁓ they live in Cincinnati, like his parents and everything, they grew up there. So ⁓ he has a bunch of aunts and uncles and cousins that live there. ⁓ so when that was an option, we were like, Yep, that's the one. Yeah. ⁓ and so it it turned out his grandmother had just gone into a ⁓ like a nursing home assisted living. And Her like condo was empty and they were like, just go stay there. So we ended up staying at her condo. and it was wild. As we were driving up, we were so excited. My cousins married to Sunny Gray. He was playing for the Cincinnati Reds at that time. It was it was spring. We were like, this is awesome. We're gonna go we're gonna go to baseball games, like we're gonna go see the cousins, all these XYZ. And as we were driving up to Cincinnati, we were listening to the radio and all of a sudden that emergency, like ⁓ right. And it says that COVID is shutting down everything. And like basically you're not gonna be able to go besides the grocery store, like anywhere. No, no restaurant, sit inside restaurants or anything. So we drove up to Cincinnati and we had one meal in a restaurant that night. And then we went to a grocery store to try to get food and it was like empty. I mean, everybody in Cincinnati was at this grocery store and it was all gone. Wow. So we got like the bare minimum. Yeah. And we went and stayed at her house and like the whole world shut down. Which in reality And looking back, it's like that probably was best for me at that point because I was still tiny. I wasn't ready to like go get all these germs everywhere and Yeah. Yeah. And I just wasn't even ready for like the physical aspect of that. Like I was still so tiny and just hadn't built up enough strength. So I I think it was the perfect time to just like rest. Have to be in, yeah. Yes. So I mean we read books, we watched TV shows, we my mom said the we with us and we played we. like it was actually really fun. We went and did like, you know, those outdoor parties where everybody wears a mask and you're all spread out. Like we saw the family, but not like, you know, hanging out inside of a house. Yeah. So ⁓ it was an interesting experience, but I actually really enjoyed my my ⁓ the staff that helped me. go through proton radiation. it was a very weird experience. So you lay it's kind of like an MRI, honestly. Like you lay on this table that's not comfortable. And they clip your your they have a mask and they clip it to a table. So your head is like stuck. I mean you're locked locked in there. ⁓ and the the mask is like like tight to your face and it's got all these little holes in it. So you can see through it. But it's like Yeah, you know. You feel totally restricted. ⁓ and that's what it's supposed to do. It's supposed you're you're trying to But doesn't mean you went to a specific area. ⁓ but yeah, it was it was weird. ⁓ and a little uneasy, like you're like this is a little bit scary. Yeah. ⁓ but all of ⁓ like I as a believer, it was nice to know that the people around me were also believers and They allow they let me play Christian music over the That's great ⁓ like intercom system. ⁓ so that I I would just be in a in a calm state. ⁓ and so I that looking back like that was a good experience. Like it was going into it was scary, but it turned out to be a good experience. So that's good. ⁓ not this is not because I'm not a Christian, because I am, but during my ⁓ like a gazillion acupuncture appointments, I played the Harry Potter movies. Because that's what calmed me down post divorce. I just put one on and ⁓ I would fall asleep to it. And so I knew that like my brain could get cooked on I am also a little different with music in general. And it just it it it didn't help me because I was somewhere else. Yes. Yes. I needed to not be in an old career. and I could not handle whatever spa music was. Like I could tell that it was on a loop. And I would like be able to tell when the loop started again and it's there it goes. Yeah. Yeah. So that doesn't do any it didn't do anything for me during my acupuncture. But ⁓ I'm like, she's like, I'm playing Chris' music and I'm like I'm listening to Harry Potter. Yeah. As a thirty, what, eight year old? Yeah. Anyway, that's hilarious. so you got the it's a pro you said proton radiation. That's so I read about it a little bit before first time we were gonna tape, but then I forgot about it by now. It's it's supposed to be like a safer option for areas that like don't need full radiation. So like the brain is definitely an area that you need to be careful with. So Yeah. Is there anything that you were told during that time, any of the time, that was like that wasn't helpful? Or I would have said it differently. And not to shame anybody, but just to and not even to identify them. But like I really find that there are so many times in our lives, for me post divorce during fertility, where things are said and it's just like thanks. But like now I have something else that feels a little burdensome. And so more of a cautionary tale and also just like education around that. So if you don't have anything, we don't have to talk about it. ⁓ and then I'll ask you about advice. ⁓ just w going through for fertility specifically and having the the first ⁓ initial appointment when I'm nervous, like I don't know what to expect. I, you know, am sad that I'm already here anyway. ⁓ and it was a male doctor and like I said, I just don't think that he was super considerate. Like he didn't think about all the things that that the woman that I ended up with did. ⁓ and like For example, we get into the room, Aaron's with me, and you know, he's talking about stuff, and then he looks straight at Aaron and he's like, steroids? And Aaron's like, Yeah. I'm like steroids. Super unprofessional. Like, I I get that it might be it might play into the fertility, but it's like Yeah. Okay, you could ask in a different way, like No, he does not use steroids. He just works out every day. He's muscular. He's he's six four. He's tall. Yeah. Very fit. And so that and did just by itself, we were like Yeah. We don't like Well also right in front of you. I'm not saying that like but he but yeah, the delivery and the timing and how you do it, like maybe ask at a different point also maybe in like a form. You know, like it lets I don't know. That that just yeah, I that would that rope. He literally just looked at it and he said, steroids. We were like No. No. ⁓ Yeah. But it just it didn't feel like we were cared about, and that we really He really took the time to understand what I was going through to figure out what I needed. ⁓ Yeah, we're not here because of him, buddy. No. Yeah. I mean, it could have but ultimately f you could have found out that or something. But like that wasn't from the general original. Yeah. Yeah. That is that is like really poor ⁓ patient management. Yes. Yeah. I want I need to switch. Yeah. The woman that I saw ⁓ in Murphy's borough was not even a doctor. She was a nurse practitioner. and I loved her. I adore her. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and yeah, quali there are a couple different I know I I think this is in every single ⁓ in every single occupation there is out there. Some people are naturally better at their job because of their bedside manner and their approach and their empathy ⁓ towards other people. And you can be the most trained hu human on the planet and still absolutely suck at your job. Yeah. ⁓ and then you could be someone who's not very trained but just as intuit intuitively knows when and how to read the room, but also does their homework. And, you know, like I don't have ⁓ the plaque on the wall to t but I but I can treat you with better care than someone else or I think like teachers are the same way. There's some people are just naturally teachers and some people are like, I I've been doing this my whole life, but it's like, Really? Have you? Yeah, I think that I'm so thankful for that, that nurse practitioner and that like it didn't really matter to you because other people like on the recipe receiving end, they're like, No, we want, we want, you know, we ⁓ the assumption that we want the best, meaning the most trained or the most educated or whatever. But ⁓ well. We actually went to him because that's who Tiffany is. So like we thought, like, great, this would be great. Like, it worked for Tiffany. Like, he can get us through. ⁓ but we just had a different experience. So Well, and also she came in, and I'm not gonna spoil her her ⁓ episode, ⁓ but she came in with a totally different set of circumstances. Yes. And so I don't know I still think maybe he was just ha I'm hoping he was having a really off day, but it doesn't really sound like it. ⁓ but yeah, hers was a little bit more straightforward. Her you know, there was really no creativity needed at this point. ⁓ because it was like, all right, we already know what to do. He was with us. It was just another patient. Let's mark off what we need to do. A number. Yeah. But I wasn't that. So No. No, and No, okay. Whatever. I'm getting on my high horse here. ⁓ this is not the first like I've heard so many stories about doctors in general who like just kind of turn people off and I'm like, You have such an opportunity here. Yes. but I'm so glad that you didn't just give up and say this is just not gonna work that you and I'm so glad whoever it was said like go to this place in in Murphy'sboro and ⁓ or this other other what sister clinic in in Murphy's borough and that you it you didn't have a second person like this, you know, because that would have been, I feel like, really discouraging. yeah. Wow. Okay, so unless you have another thing. ⁓ obviously that's not really like a a a traditional hot potato, like, but if you're a practitioner out there, just read the room. everybody read the room. Everyone. Any advice that you give, like so ⁓ in twofold, twofold. Fertility, 'cause this is a technically a fertility podcast, but it doesn't I I talk about other things because everything leads up to it. You know, even if you don't have kids, it's still a fertility thing. to choose or to realize you you are not going to go down that route. ⁓ is there anything for your entire journey, even back when you were young, like that you would say, if you, you know, these are signs not to take ⁓ take light of, you know, obviously if someone heard this, they're not gonna only hear the end. So they'll have heard all the symptoms that you experienced. But if you could tell your younger self something, about this whole thing. Would is there anything you would say, this is what I wish I would have known? I I just feel like besides the fact that you had a freaking tumor. Yeah. Like as a as a dancer, I was very in tune with my body. So I felt like I knew something, but doctors kept telling me no. Mm-hmm. And I didn't stand up for myself back then. It took until I was in graduate school to say, No, no, no. I know something is wrong with me. So I would just say, even if you're young, just stand up for what you feel. Like if you don't feel good, if you whatever isn't happening in your life, like just stand up for that. Say how you feel. Tell them. Yeah. Let them know what you're Well, and also it's like, hey, if you're not gonna do something, I'm I'm gonna go see someone else who will. Yes. Because if you're getting asked to be checked out, not to be treated, we're I we're what you wanted to know is what's wrong, not what medicate like I understand like a doctor not wanting to prescribe something because they don't know if there's a legit reason for it, if you're just acting like like you know, maybe there's a problem that we don't know about. I understand that. But you weren't asking for that. You were asking for answers to to help just explain why things were happening. So yeah, I would say I would totally second, third, fourth, fifth that abication is hard though, as a girl and as a small girl. And So even if it's, you know, if you're s if you're super young, maybe bring somebody along who's a little bit more who can advocate for you. Yep. Like my I know my mom advocated a lot for me and I know your mom would you know, that's her she'd she'd totally take I I feel like a lot of moms would do this. They kind of turn into little mini bulldogs. ⁓ but yeah, find somebody who will. Yeah, and if that you feel like that would be a if you're a little smaller you have smaller stature, like I feel like that just makes you an easier target for someone to dismiss you. ⁓ and I don't know why that is except for like just assumptions. I don't know. Yes. But yeah. And sometimes when you're the patient and you feel crazy, I was talking to my friend Nellie, who has endometriosis really bad, really, really bad. And ⁓ she went to a doctor and the woman doctor, not a male, so she was kind of hopeful and the woman dismissed her because she was like, I think I know what this is after all of her younger years, like throwing up, radiating pain down to her feet. ⁓ couldn't do her track meets if if she had her period during that time frame or whatever. And like, can you imagine not being able to a competition because like it's crazy. And so all of this, she's got all this information at her fingertips. And then she finally sees something that kind of resonates with it. And she goes to this OB and the OB said, like chuckled under her breath when she said, I think I know what this is. And she said, it's everyone has pain in their periods. I'll just put you on birth control. My my daughters have pains and I'll put you know Yeah. That was 'cause that was my result too, is let's just put you on birthday. Let's just put on birthday. I know, I heard that and I was like, Really? ⁓ that can't be a fix all. It isn't a fix all, clearly. It just masks a lot of things. ⁓ and and and I think that's one of the issues with with ⁓ Western medicine is that it's typically a base ⁓ I was talking to an endocr endocrinologist yesterday and she was saying like what or functional medica medicine and she was saying Like that is kind of the way of the industry and it's unfortunate because sometimes you do need medicine, but sometimes you need to figure out what's going on and why you are needing this medicine in the first place. So yeah, I remember Nellie was saying like 'cause she was in music, is in music too, and she was going on tour trying to figure this out and she would like it would be so bad. But on top of everything else, she felt crazy and that she would never be listened to because if this woman wouldn't, who else would? And so it's just like I think your your advice is is spot on for the advocation. Some way, if you need to bring a guy with you, fine. Like it doesn't matter. Just find a way and just advocate. Know you you know your body better. I wish I would have listened to my body so much sooner. I didn't realize that my anxiety came out in ⁓ vomiting ⁓ for like twenty four to forty eight hours at a time. I thought it was food poisoning. 'Cause it wasn't so often. But then when they got closer together and it was like similar cir circumstances with similar things. ⁓ I don't want to go too deep into it on here. But ⁓ I finally went to the doctor. I was like, What's wrong with me? And he said, Is there anything in common? And I was like, Yes. Yes, there's a person. And he was like, That is your body's wave. I was like, ⁓ my gosh, that is so interesting. But I waited till it got so bad in order to be desperate. And if you feel something, yeah, be your own advocate. Be your own advocate. Leah. I almost said McGeek. Mayor. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sure called me here. Yep. ⁓ I'm so glad to have had you on here. I'm so glad you can make it work and that you're feeling better too. That's wonderful. ⁓ I did not know. I knew I knew, you know, a good portion of your story, but I did not know all this and how much you're still having to deal with. So ⁓ I hope that you can figure that out that or the insurance can figure themselves out so that that's just not one thing you have to worry about. you're be you are beautiful. You are b just very beautiful inside and out. Always have been. You've always been one of my favorite people. I don't follow everybody that I knew from Jackson. So just saying. ⁓ But I hope you have a wonderful day. I hope you ha hug those little baby boys. ⁓ and not so baby boy. I'm gonna make something for Noah, by the way. I'll I'll send you a picture of it. ⁓ I'll make something for the other ones, but they won't care for a while. So no. ⁓ and Aaron, ⁓ if you're listening to this ever or see this ever, thank you for taking care of Leah all these years. ⁓ I know her family appreciates it. I appreciate it from afar. and yeah, I'm just I wish the best for your whole little family. Anyway, everyone else out there, thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. ⁓ if you wanna, you know, get to know Leah a little bit more, I'll put her information in this in the show notes and obviously mine will be in there too if you need to get in touch. ⁓ I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their day, week, whenever you're listening to this, and until next week, take care. Hey everyone, it's Ashlyne. Again, you just heard me. But I have a question for you. Actually, two. The first one is: do you have a fertility story to share? And remember, when I say fertility story, it doesn't mean about when you started trying. It doesn't have to be about IBF. It can be about something that happened well before you even thought of having a family, something that impacted how you felt about starting to try, ⁓ something that was traumatizing that informed. the time when you decided you wanted to have a family or not have a family. ⁓ and the second question is, what do you guys want to hear about? What conversations should I be seeking out? I want to grow this podcast outside of just fertility in general, because like I said, fertility starts well before you family plan, but also because I'm really loving all the conversations I'm having with people in a radical candor sort of way. I feel like one of the biggest things that we are missing in our society is our ability to talk about the hard stuff in public. And sometimes it's not everybody's jam to do that. It is mine. I really love it and I love the feedback I'm getting about someone being able to listen to this in their car or watch it on their computer or whatever and get that feeling of, ⁓ my gosh, I'm not the only one. That's everything to me. So please send me an email. Ashlyne A S H L Y N E at confessions of a slowcooker dot com or send me a direct message on Instagram or on Facebook, whatever. Let me know what you want us to be talking about. And yeah, if you've got something you want to share, hit me up for that too. See you next week.